I had a wee glance at the Scotsman today (I know, it's rubbbish!) and caught a wee glimpse of Alex Salmond photo-bombing a poor lassie’s round of golf for no apparent reason.
|Spending time with Alex Salmond is a good walk spoiled.|
It reminded me of the time he played football and got me thinking about how I would use the photo-op to win the heart of millions and a general election.
|On the 'ead|
My tactic would be to spend a day of creating the best political photo- ops ever in homage to some of my favourites of all time.
I guess I could start with the sports, but that would make me really hungry and I’d need a pasty after that and probably a pint to wash it down. Luckily for me this is a well-trodden photo-op path. All of us politicians love a pie (or a bacon roll) do we not, and so long as I’m a proper right-winger I’ll get away with having a beer.
|Tosser with a pint!|
Politicians love going to people’s work don’t they? And dressing up...
I’d be sure to fit in a wee stroll along the beach. Nothing could go wrong there right?
I’d have to remember to smile of course!
I’ll spend a bit of time with my celebrity mates.
Hold a baby!
And pose for my corporate sponsors.
So that’s it. One day, many photos and then people will believe that I’m actually a person rather than a soulless and incompetent parasite who only wants to be elected cos I heard the expenses are pretty good.
Nah... Sod it I’ll just take my top off, ride a horse and shoot a gun!!!!